So here we are ladies and gentlemen at the American Idol Sarah Brightman night. We are glad you all came out to join us. Now let's take a look at our contestants:
Randy Jackson will be singing "Yo Yo Dog that was Just Aaaight"
Paula will be singing "You are So Beautiful"
Simon will be singing "the Love Boat"
Okay, so maybe not, but how much shall we wager on Randy saying that a contestant's performance was pitchy, that it started off bad, but by the middle he was feeling it, that there were a few pitch problems, and that it was just okay? How about Paula talking longer than she needs to only to end up saying nothing, acting drunk, telling a contestant who just had a poor performance that she is beautiful, and standing up and seal-clapping to David Cook's mumbling? What about Simon comparing at least one contestant to a Cruise Ship singer, telling another that he doesn't mean to be rude, but... or telling us that he is going to agree with (pause for dramatic effect), or - big shocker - insinuating that Ryan is gay?
Okay, who wants to take this bet?
So anyway, let's take a listen to the musical offerings of the night:
First up is Syesha Mercado, who will sing One Rock and Roll Too Many, which, according to everything I know about this song (which consists of me looking it up on YouTube when I found out she would be singing it) is normally sung by three different people. Syesha tried being two different people on Dolly Parton night, so why not add another in there for this performance. Really, I think this is quite a stretch of a song for her and am interested to see what she can do with it. By the way, was Baron Andrew really wearing red pants? I like how much personality he is showing. Syesha, too. Wow! Talk about a sultry performance. So far this is the Syesha I've been expecting all along. 5 more shows like this one and she could surprise everybody. She is loving it up on that stage! Kerry: "Excellent! That was such a good job" Judges: Randy says best yet, Paula loved it, Simon thought it was sexy. My only concern is that she sang her pants off at the first performance. Will everyone remember to vote for her at the end? I did. Braden rating: 8.5/10 Kerry rating: 8.5/10
Riding in the coveted spot of death (cue dramatic music) is Jason Castro, who is singing Memory from Cats, which seems just a little bit of an odd choice for him. I can certainly see him working it out, but he is going to have to hit it in just the right way. Let's see what happens. So when Jason is being interviewed, he looks very high. I suppose that is pretty much the status quo for him, though. He starts off kind of weak. This song needs power, and he isn't hitting that yet. Now he is back to his breathy singing which doesn't do it for me. I think I have said this every week, but now I'll say it again: I love Jason's voice, but I hate his breathing. If he would just learn to sing into a mic without breathing his h's and p's right into it, I would like him a lot more. Kerry: "I liked it. He touched me." Judges: Randy said it was a train wreck. Braden agrees. Paula says he is not a female power-balladeer. Thanks Paula. Simon thought it was the longest two minutes of his life and that it sounded like he was being forced to sing a song that he didn't want to sing. Thank you Simon. Braden rating: 4.5/10 Kerry rating: 7.5/10
Third tonight is Brooke White, who is singing You Must Love Me from the Evita soundtrack. I heard rumor that ALW held out his highest hopes for her on tonight's show. I'm watching Weber tutoring, and wow! He is actually tutoring! And she's off... and she's way off - in fact, she is starting over. This doesn't bode very well for her. I may have to powervote tonight. She is going to have to knock it out to make up for that. She isn't doing that in the first part. Now she gets to the bridge, and she is picking up steam. I like the emotion that she is putting into it. Really interesting. I'm going to have to listen to it again. Kerry: "She shouldn't have started over. This time it just made her look bad." Judges: Randy agreed with me. Paula agrees with Kerry (and me), and then babbles. Simon thought it became uncomfortable for her. Good job to Brooke for not interrupting the judges. Brooke is now admitting that she forgot the words, and Simon comes to her rescue. I feel better about her now. Kerry, too. She may still be in trouble. Braden rating: 6/10 Kerry rating: 6/10
Next up we have David Archuleta, who is doing the stupid tie-not-quite-tied-up thing. He will sing Think of Me from the Phantom of the Opera. Tonight is right up his alley, which could actually work against him as he will face a wall of expectations. I'm excited because I would like to see what a guy (especially one with his talent) can do with this song. And as has been pointed out many times before, David Archuleta could sing my pharmacology textbook and sound good. THANK YOU, MR WEBER, FOR TELLING HIM TO OPEN HIS EYES! David is taking this song and Claptonizing it. I'm not sure what to think of that. Certainly it is different than what I was expecting. The vocal runs are actually working for me. Unfortunately, he is kind of mumbling some of the words. Now it is over, and I'm trying to find Andrew Lloyd Weber in that. I can't do it. Now that was a brave performance. Better than ripping off some band from the internet. Kerry: "I don't think it was his best performance, but I thought he did a good job." Judges: Randy thought it was the bomb, Paula thought it was almost as perfect as a double vodka tonic, and Simon thought it was pleasant, but one of his weakest. I'm taking Simon off my Christmas card list. Braden rating: 8/10 Kerry rating: 7.5/10
In the set-up role is Carly Smithson. She is singing Superstar. Of course. I have no further comment. Let's get to the wretching... er, I mean, singing. She completely turned around when she started singing a song about doubting Jesus. Of course. Carly is wearing sleeves. Two weeks in a row! She is starting off okay. Now we are getting to the chorus and she is going off key and trying to do her big whiny notes. Not working. Does she really need to do the yeah yeah yeah yeahs? Ugg, this started off with some promise, and then went steadily downhill until the ending which kept just going and going and going. Ugg. Kerry: "All the problems I have with Carly were just emphasized in this song. Too high-pitched and nasally, and when she goes up high, it is just grating on the nerves. To me, Carly is just fading away." My prediction of her going home just may come true. Judges: Randy thought it was good. Paula thought it was so unexpected (why, Paula? go listen to the original. There is nothing special about this performance) Simon thought it was one of his favorites of the night. Carly is holding up a shirt that says "Simon Loves Me" and screaming like a little gay boy. Wow, she is ugly when she smiles. Braden rating: 3/10 Kerry rating: 4/10
And tonight's closer is David Cook, who will sing Music of the Night from the Phantom of the Opera. I wasn't expecting great things from DC tonight, but as I think about this song, I think that he could really do well with it, but he is going to have to resist his typical mumblyness, because this song requires great diction. I actually hope that he is going to stretch himself and just sing the song without trying to rock it out. There are plenty of big notes that he can stretch out, and even a few high notes that he can reach for. Unfortunately for him, I found a video of Josh Groban singing this song and knocking it out of the park (despite a very bizarre accompaniment), so now I'm going to be comparing him to one of the best pure singers I can think of. So with such high hopes, here we go. I wonder what Andrew Lloyd Weber thinks about being called "the dude". He starts out spot on. Loving it. I could listen to this song a few dozen times. I'm trying to not like this performance, but I just can't do it (or not do it, or whatever my double reverse negatives all come out to). Not so hot on the last line, but everything else was amazing. Kerry: "I was really surprised. I was really surprised by that one. I was very surprised." Judges: Randy recycles his compliment from David A. Paula is still high on Oxycodone. Simon doesn't like this side of him. I pee on Simon. Oh, and by the way, I would still take Josh over David, but that was tremendous. (Simon impersonation voice:) Sorry. Braden rating: 9/10 Kerry rating: 8/10
So shall we put all of those ratings together? (average Braden and Kerry rating)
David Cook 8.5
Syesha Mercado 8.5
David Archuleta 7.75
Brooke White 6
Jason Castro 6
Carly Smithson 3.5
And now... for the moment all three of you have been waiting for:
(cue dramatic music)
(cue pause that lasts entirely too long until just when you are about to throw something at the TV)
THE PREDICTIONS
Braden thinks the bottom three will be Jason, Carly, and Brooke with Carly going home
Kerry thinks the bottom three will be Carly, Jason, and Brooke with Brooke going home
Randy Jackson will be singing "Yo Yo Dog that was Just Aaaight"
Paula will be singing "You are So Beautiful"
Simon will be singing "the Love Boat"
Okay, so maybe not, but how much shall we wager on Randy saying that a contestant's performance was pitchy, that it started off bad, but by the middle he was feeling it, that there were a few pitch problems, and that it was just okay? How about Paula talking longer than she needs to only to end up saying nothing, acting drunk, telling a contestant who just had a poor performance that she is beautiful, and standing up and seal-clapping to David Cook's mumbling? What about Simon comparing at least one contestant to a Cruise Ship singer, telling another that he doesn't mean to be rude, but... or telling us that he is going to agree with (pause for dramatic effect), or - big shocker - insinuating that Ryan is gay?
Okay, who wants to take this bet?
So anyway, let's take a listen to the musical offerings of the night:
First up is Syesha Mercado, who will sing One Rock and Roll Too Many, which, according to everything I know about this song (which consists of me looking it up on YouTube when I found out she would be singing it) is normally sung by three different people. Syesha tried being two different people on Dolly Parton night, so why not add another in there for this performance. Really, I think this is quite a stretch of a song for her and am interested to see what she can do with it. By the way, was Baron Andrew really wearing red pants? I like how much personality he is showing. Syesha, too. Wow! Talk about a sultry performance. So far this is the Syesha I've been expecting all along. 5 more shows like this one and she could surprise everybody. She is loving it up on that stage! Kerry: "Excellent! That was such a good job" Judges: Randy says best yet, Paula loved it, Simon thought it was sexy. My only concern is that she sang her pants off at the first performance. Will everyone remember to vote for her at the end? I did. Braden rating: 8.5/10 Kerry rating: 8.5/10
Riding in the coveted spot of death (cue dramatic music) is Jason Castro, who is singing Memory from Cats, which seems just a little bit of an odd choice for him. I can certainly see him working it out, but he is going to have to hit it in just the right way. Let's see what happens. So when Jason is being interviewed, he looks very high. I suppose that is pretty much the status quo for him, though. He starts off kind of weak. This song needs power, and he isn't hitting that yet. Now he is back to his breathy singing which doesn't do it for me. I think I have said this every week, but now I'll say it again: I love Jason's voice, but I hate his breathing. If he would just learn to sing into a mic without breathing his h's and p's right into it, I would like him a lot more. Kerry: "I liked it. He touched me." Judges: Randy said it was a train wreck. Braden agrees. Paula says he is not a female power-balladeer. Thanks Paula. Simon thought it was the longest two minutes of his life and that it sounded like he was being forced to sing a song that he didn't want to sing. Thank you Simon. Braden rating: 4.5/10 Kerry rating: 7.5/10
Third tonight is Brooke White, who is singing You Must Love Me from the Evita soundtrack. I heard rumor that ALW held out his highest hopes for her on tonight's show. I'm watching Weber tutoring, and wow! He is actually tutoring! And she's off... and she's way off - in fact, she is starting over. This doesn't bode very well for her. I may have to powervote tonight. She is going to have to knock it out to make up for that. She isn't doing that in the first part. Now she gets to the bridge, and she is picking up steam. I like the emotion that she is putting into it. Really interesting. I'm going to have to listen to it again. Kerry: "She shouldn't have started over. This time it just made her look bad." Judges: Randy agreed with me. Paula agrees with Kerry (and me), and then babbles. Simon thought it became uncomfortable for her. Good job to Brooke for not interrupting the judges. Brooke is now admitting that she forgot the words, and Simon comes to her rescue. I feel better about her now. Kerry, too. She may still be in trouble. Braden rating: 6/10 Kerry rating: 6/10
Next up we have David Archuleta, who is doing the stupid tie-not-quite-tied-up thing. He will sing Think of Me from the Phantom of the Opera. Tonight is right up his alley, which could actually work against him as he will face a wall of expectations. I'm excited because I would like to see what a guy (especially one with his talent) can do with this song. And as has been pointed out many times before, David Archuleta could sing my pharmacology textbook and sound good. THANK YOU, MR WEBER, FOR TELLING HIM TO OPEN HIS EYES! David is taking this song and Claptonizing it. I'm not sure what to think of that. Certainly it is different than what I was expecting. The vocal runs are actually working for me. Unfortunately, he is kind of mumbling some of the words. Now it is over, and I'm trying to find Andrew Lloyd Weber in that. I can't do it. Now that was a brave performance. Better than ripping off some band from the internet. Kerry: "I don't think it was his best performance, but I thought he did a good job." Judges: Randy thought it was the bomb, Paula thought it was almost as perfect as a double vodka tonic, and Simon thought it was pleasant, but one of his weakest. I'm taking Simon off my Christmas card list. Braden rating: 8/10 Kerry rating: 7.5/10
In the set-up role is Carly Smithson. She is singing Superstar. Of course. I have no further comment. Let's get to the wretching... er, I mean, singing. She completely turned around when she started singing a song about doubting Jesus. Of course. Carly is wearing sleeves. Two weeks in a row! She is starting off okay. Now we are getting to the chorus and she is going off key and trying to do her big whiny notes. Not working. Does she really need to do the yeah yeah yeah yeahs? Ugg, this started off with some promise, and then went steadily downhill until the ending which kept just going and going and going. Ugg. Kerry: "All the problems I have with Carly were just emphasized in this song. Too high-pitched and nasally, and when she goes up high, it is just grating on the nerves. To me, Carly is just fading away." My prediction of her going home just may come true. Judges: Randy thought it was good. Paula thought it was so unexpected (why, Paula? go listen to the original. There is nothing special about this performance) Simon thought it was one of his favorites of the night. Carly is holding up a shirt that says "Simon Loves Me" and screaming like a little gay boy. Wow, she is ugly when she smiles. Braden rating: 3/10 Kerry rating: 4/10
And tonight's closer is David Cook, who will sing Music of the Night from the Phantom of the Opera. I wasn't expecting great things from DC tonight, but as I think about this song, I think that he could really do well with it, but he is going to have to resist his typical mumblyness, because this song requires great diction. I actually hope that he is going to stretch himself and just sing the song without trying to rock it out. There are plenty of big notes that he can stretch out, and even a few high notes that he can reach for. Unfortunately for him, I found a video of Josh Groban singing this song and knocking it out of the park (despite a very bizarre accompaniment), so now I'm going to be comparing him to one of the best pure singers I can think of. So with such high hopes, here we go. I wonder what Andrew Lloyd Weber thinks about being called "the dude". He starts out spot on. Loving it. I could listen to this song a few dozen times. I'm trying to not like this performance, but I just can't do it (or not do it, or whatever my double reverse negatives all come out to). Not so hot on the last line, but everything else was amazing. Kerry: "I was really surprised. I was really surprised by that one. I was very surprised." Judges: Randy recycles his compliment from David A. Paula is still high on Oxycodone. Simon doesn't like this side of him. I pee on Simon. Oh, and by the way, I would still take Josh over David, but that was tremendous. (Simon impersonation voice:) Sorry. Braden rating: 9/10 Kerry rating: 8/10
So shall we put all of those ratings together? (average Braden and Kerry rating)
David Cook 8.5
Syesha Mercado 8.5
David Archuleta 7.75
Brooke White 6
Jason Castro 6
Carly Smithson 3.5
And now... for the moment all three of you have been waiting for:
(cue dramatic music)
(cue pause that lasts entirely too long until just when you are about to throw something at the TV)
THE PREDICTIONS
Braden thinks the bottom three will be Jason, Carly, and Brooke with Carly going home
Kerry thinks the bottom three will be Carly, Jason, and Brooke with Brooke going home
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