This one is not quite as funny.
Monday, March 31, 2008
The Simpsons does American Idol
I'm sure this is nothing new for most people, but believe it or not, I just came across it yesterday, and love what they did with Randy's character, and especially Paula!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Season 4 vs Season 7
Professor Chan over at Vote for the Worst has an interesting "cage match" pitting the contestants of Season 4 against those of Season 7. Go take a look and then come back here for my rant.
Here is my response that I posted to him:
I thought that the first cage match was a little over-done. This one was just plain wrong on almost every count. First of all, I'm no big David Cook fan, but saying that the crappy rendition of free-bird that Bice did even comes close to Billie Jean is the biggest leap I can imagine. And if you listen to the Cornell version of Billie Jean, he sings it at a different tempo, different key, and slightly different arrangement. So while it is true that Cook has a habit of covering other's covers, here he actually did put his own take on it and it was better than Cornell.
Second, it appears that you don't like David Archuleta. That's fine, but it is seriously hampering your fairness gene. You put up a song by Federov that probably would have got him eliminated during Hollywood week, being the off-key, mumbly suckage that it was, and expect us to believe that somehow this makes him a better singer than David Archuleta of Imagine fame? Please pull the load of crap out of your ears and listen again. As for Farnham's version, I have two things to say. Number one is that he is singing in a studio with innumerable retakes and practices at his disposal, whereas David is singing on stage with one week to prepare. Second is that I don't even agree that Farnham was better. He has a funny edge to his voice that he consistently uses to his disadvantage. I hate David's song choices as much as the next guy, but you need to recognize that he is a tremendous talent.
Next up, it also appears that you hate Brooke. I think that Brooke is by far the most underrated talent on the show. And if you compare her version of Love is a Battlefield to Carrie, I think that Carrie goes down in flames. Granted they are two very different versions of the song, but Brooke's simple, rich voice brings out the emotion of that song far better than the borderline tuneless yelling of Underwear. In fact, when I was watching the youtube video that you linked to, my wife from the other room asked incredulously "is that Pat Benetar singing live?" When I told her it wasn't, she said, "good, because it was terrible."
I could go on about your terrible comparisons of other singers, but the point doesn't change. You come into this "contest" with an agenda and whatever you do, you must stick with it, so you make unfair comparisons and wild sweeping statements with no real basis. Oh sure, you throw in the occasional "upset" for a season 7 contestant, but it is clear from the start where you are headed.
I never watched Season 4 because I was so disillusioned by Fantasia beating Latoya London in 3, so this was all new to me. I'm glad you put these videos up, though, so that I could see what a tuneless mess season 4 was.
I don't buy into the claim that this season is magically super talented, but they certainly prevail against everyone in season 4 with the exception of Carrie.
I'm calling BS on this one.
Here is my response that I posted to him:
I thought that the first cage match was a little over-done. This one was just plain wrong on almost every count. First of all, I'm no big David Cook fan, but saying that the crappy rendition of free-bird that Bice did even comes close to Billie Jean is the biggest leap I can imagine. And if you listen to the Cornell version of Billie Jean, he sings it at a different tempo, different key, and slightly different arrangement. So while it is true that Cook has a habit of covering other's covers, here he actually did put his own take on it and it was better than Cornell.
Second, it appears that you don't like David Archuleta. That's fine, but it is seriously hampering your fairness gene. You put up a song by Federov that probably would have got him eliminated during Hollywood week, being the off-key, mumbly suckage that it was, and expect us to believe that somehow this makes him a better singer than David Archuleta of Imagine fame? Please pull the load of crap out of your ears and listen again. As for Farnham's version, I have two things to say. Number one is that he is singing in a studio with innumerable retakes and practices at his disposal, whereas David is singing on stage with one week to prepare. Second is that I don't even agree that Farnham was better. He has a funny edge to his voice that he consistently uses to his disadvantage. I hate David's song choices as much as the next guy, but you need to recognize that he is a tremendous talent.
Next up, it also appears that you hate Brooke. I think that Brooke is by far the most underrated talent on the show. And if you compare her version of Love is a Battlefield to Carrie, I think that Carrie goes down in flames. Granted they are two very different versions of the song, but Brooke's simple, rich voice brings out the emotion of that song far better than the borderline tuneless yelling of Underwear. In fact, when I was watching the youtube video that you linked to, my wife from the other room asked incredulously "is that Pat Benetar singing live?" When I told her it wasn't, she said, "good, because it was terrible."
I could go on about your terrible comparisons of other singers, but the point doesn't change. You come into this "contest" with an agenda and whatever you do, you must stick with it, so you make unfair comparisons and wild sweeping statements with no real basis. Oh sure, you throw in the occasional "upset" for a season 7 contestant, but it is clear from the start where you are headed.
I never watched Season 4 because I was so disillusioned by Fantasia beating Latoya London in 3, so this was all new to me. I'm glad you put these videos up, though, so that I could see what a tuneless mess season 4 was.
I don't buy into the claim that this season is magically super talented, but they certainly prevail against everyone in season 4 with the exception of Carrie.
I'm calling BS on this one.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Country music theme next week
So next week's theme is going to be country music. This leads me to wonder who should sing what...
David A: Colin Raye - Little Rock or In This Life or If I Were You
David C: David Lee Murphy - Party Crowd or Garth Brooks - Aint Going Down
Michael: Travis Tritt - T-R-O-U-B-L-E or Dierks Bentley - What Was I Thinking
or if he is feeling really brave Charlie Daniels Band - The Devil Went Down to Georgia
Jason: Clay Walker - If I Could Make a Living or Alan Jackson - Home
Kristy: Faith Hill - This Kiss or Breathe
Brooke: Anne Murray - Just Another Woman In Love or Danny's Song
Carly: Reba McIntyre - The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia
Syesha: John Michael Montgomery - I Swear or I Can Love You Like That
Ramiele: Jo Dee Messina - Stand Beside Me
What do you think? What other songs would be good choices?
David A: Colin Raye - Little Rock or In This Life or If I Were You
David C: David Lee Murphy - Party Crowd or Garth Brooks - Aint Going Down
Michael: Travis Tritt - T-R-O-U-B-L-E or Dierks Bentley - What Was I Thinking
or if he is feeling really brave Charlie Daniels Band - The Devil Went Down to Georgia
Jason: Clay Walker - If I Could Make a Living or Alan Jackson - Home
Kristy: Faith Hill - This Kiss or Breathe
Brooke: Anne Murray - Just Another Woman In Love or Danny's Song
Carly: Reba McIntyre - The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia
Syesha: John Michael Montgomery - I Swear or I Can Love You Like That
Ramiele: Jo Dee Messina - Stand Beside Me
What do you think? What other songs would be good choices?
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
One more thought on tonight's elimination
Although I don't think that Chikezie deserved to go home tonight (as there are three worse singers than him still left), I do think that if a guy had to go, he was the one. The three that should have left before him (in order) are Ramiele, Kristy, and Carly.
Top 10 results show
Well we waited and waited for a YouTube video of the elimination from tonight, but in the end, we just went over to Snark Raving Mad and read SarahK's play by play of the night's events.
wow.
I'm very surprised by the results. I thought for sure it would be Ramiele or Kristy, and they weren't even in the bottom 3. I wont miss Chikezie's cheesy songs, but I'll miss his fun personality.
wow.
I'm very surprised by the results. I thought for sure it would be Ramiele or Kristy, and they weren't even in the bottom 3. I wont miss Chikezie's cheesy songs, but I'll miss his fun personality.
Top 10 Second Chance
It happens often enough that I have a different opinion of a song the second time that I thought I would post a little something about how I feel about the songs after a second listen.
1 Ramiele Malubay: Why do I torture myself by giving this drivel a second chance? Maybe some people just like punishment. This song starts out so high school talent show-y and then gets worse. When she hits the big notes, which her voice can certainly handle, she goes hopelessly off key. And the backup singers aren't helping her. They are screaming just as horrendously as her. Second chance rating: 3/10
2 Jason Castro: Jason, buddy, please please please lose the dreadlocks. Don't you realize that you're head is shaped like a turnip with the dreadlocks. While we are having this conversation Jason, do me a big favor and please poop before you sing, because when you poop while you are singing it is kind of distracting. I'm glad we had this little conversation. Second chance rating: 6.5/10
3 Syesha Mercado: She has a surprisingly crisp voice, but in the song she is running all the words together and not showing that voice off. I'm bored. Maybe I just hate the song, but at least I know I hate the song. I guess she doesn't do that bad with the actual singing, but I'm not feeling what the judges are feeling here. Second chance rating: 6/10
4 Chikezie Eze: I hate the stupid hand-waving thing the crowd plants do. It is so obviously not spontaneous. It is forced and they can never get their hands all waving the same direction at the same time. Anyway, on to Chikeeboy. It sounds to me like he is in incredible pain while singing. I'm an ER nurse. I know what someone in pain sounds like, and he would fit in just fine in a hospital gown complaining of diffuse abdominal pain. Second chance rating: 5/10
5 Brooke White: It is amazing how subconsciously influenced you can be by the judges. After hearing their comments I went away convinced that the second half of her song wasn't very good. Listening to it again, I realize that there are two good songs mixed together here. I could enjoy an entire song with just her rich, sweet voice and the piano, and I could enjoy an entire song of her singing with the orchestra, and I don't think it was bad for her to show both sides. Second chance rating: Still an 8.5/10
6 Michael Johns: I remember really liking the beginning of this and then being let down by the second half. On second review, I concur. When he gets to the parts where he has to sing the higher notes, he just sounds like he is straining. Certainly his best performance, but I would hesitate to run out and buy this version of the song. Second chance rating: 7/10
7 Carly Smithson: I don't want to have to watch her again, but for you, I will. Carly has two facial expressions that make me want to puke. The first is a surprised look she gets every once in a while that is marginally reminiscent of an expression you might get if you were singing on the stage and somebody snuck up behind you and pinched your butt. The second is when she gets to a really big note and closes her eyes tight and opens her mouth really big and she looks surprisingly like Cartman from South Park. It is disturbing. So now I'm watching this again and I'm seeing both looks and noting that she can't stay on key to save her life. I think I was far too kind to her on first review. Second chance rating: 4/10
8 David Archuleta: David chose a terrible song this week. On second review he doesn't do too bad with the actual singing, although he rushes some notes and sounds terrible on the first line, which is way below his range. Wow, I hate this song! All I can see when I hear this is what Simon said. I feel like I'm listening to a Disney save-the-whales musical. So this one is hard for me. David can sing like nothing else, but his song sucked. Second chance rating: 7/10
9 Kristy Lee Cook: I hate her hair. Otherwise, there are a few notes that she just can't hold. Otherwise it is a reasonable performance for her. Nothing special, but reasonable. Really it is her hotness factor that keeps me wanting her to stay in the competition. Second chance rating: 6.5/10
10 David Cook: The judges just ate him up and spittled him on the ground and ate him up again and made babies with his song, so I figured that it was the least I could to to listen one more time. Then again. And again. I'm still not convinced that it is completely his fault, but now I really like this arrangement. In fact, I might be willing to buy this on an album. My big problem with David Cook continues to be that he is a good front man, but not necessarily a great singer in his own right. Second chance rating: 8.5/10
So now to put those in order (the difference from my original rating in parentheses):
Brooke: 8.5 (no change)
David C: 8.5 (+2)
David A: 7 (no change)
Michael: 7 (-1)
Kristy Lee: 6.5 (+ 0.5)
Jason: 6.5 (+1)
Syesha: 6 (- 0.5)
Chikezie: 5 (-1)
Carly: 4 (-1)
Ramiele: 3 (no change)
1 Ramiele Malubay: Why do I torture myself by giving this drivel a second chance? Maybe some people just like punishment. This song starts out so high school talent show-y and then gets worse. When she hits the big notes, which her voice can certainly handle, she goes hopelessly off key. And the backup singers aren't helping her. They are screaming just as horrendously as her. Second chance rating: 3/10
2 Jason Castro: Jason, buddy, please please please lose the dreadlocks. Don't you realize that you're head is shaped like a turnip with the dreadlocks. While we are having this conversation Jason, do me a big favor and please poop before you sing, because when you poop while you are singing it is kind of distracting. I'm glad we had this little conversation. Second chance rating: 6.5/10
3 Syesha Mercado: She has a surprisingly crisp voice, but in the song she is running all the words together and not showing that voice off. I'm bored. Maybe I just hate the song, but at least I know I hate the song. I guess she doesn't do that bad with the actual singing, but I'm not feeling what the judges are feeling here. Second chance rating: 6/10
4 Chikezie Eze: I hate the stupid hand-waving thing the crowd plants do. It is so obviously not spontaneous. It is forced and they can never get their hands all waving the same direction at the same time. Anyway, on to Chikeeboy. It sounds to me like he is in incredible pain while singing. I'm an ER nurse. I know what someone in pain sounds like, and he would fit in just fine in a hospital gown complaining of diffuse abdominal pain. Second chance rating: 5/10
5 Brooke White: It is amazing how subconsciously influenced you can be by the judges. After hearing their comments I went away convinced that the second half of her song wasn't very good. Listening to it again, I realize that there are two good songs mixed together here. I could enjoy an entire song with just her rich, sweet voice and the piano, and I could enjoy an entire song of her singing with the orchestra, and I don't think it was bad for her to show both sides. Second chance rating: Still an 8.5/10
6 Michael Johns: I remember really liking the beginning of this and then being let down by the second half. On second review, I concur. When he gets to the parts where he has to sing the higher notes, he just sounds like he is straining. Certainly his best performance, but I would hesitate to run out and buy this version of the song. Second chance rating: 7/10
7 Carly Smithson: I don't want to have to watch her again, but for you, I will. Carly has two facial expressions that make me want to puke. The first is a surprised look she gets every once in a while that is marginally reminiscent of an expression you might get if you were singing on the stage and somebody snuck up behind you and pinched your butt. The second is when she gets to a really big note and closes her eyes tight and opens her mouth really big and she looks surprisingly like Cartman from South Park. It is disturbing. So now I'm watching this again and I'm seeing both looks and noting that she can't stay on key to save her life. I think I was far too kind to her on first review. Second chance rating: 4/10
8 David Archuleta: David chose a terrible song this week. On second review he doesn't do too bad with the actual singing, although he rushes some notes and sounds terrible on the first line, which is way below his range. Wow, I hate this song! All I can see when I hear this is what Simon said. I feel like I'm listening to a Disney save-the-whales musical. So this one is hard for me. David can sing like nothing else, but his song sucked. Second chance rating: 7/10
9 Kristy Lee Cook: I hate her hair. Otherwise, there are a few notes that she just can't hold. Otherwise it is a reasonable performance for her. Nothing special, but reasonable. Really it is her hotness factor that keeps me wanting her to stay in the competition. Second chance rating: 6.5/10
10 David Cook: The judges just ate him up and spittled him on the ground and ate him up again and made babies with his song, so I figured that it was the least I could to to listen one more time. Then again. And again. I'm still not convinced that it is completely his fault, but now I really like this arrangement. In fact, I might be willing to buy this on an album. My big problem with David Cook continues to be that he is a good front man, but not necessarily a great singer in his own right. Second chance rating: 8.5/10
So now to put those in order (the difference from my original rating in parentheses):
Brooke: 8.5 (no change)
David C: 8.5 (+2)
David A: 7 (no change)
Michael: 7 (-1)
Kristy Lee: 6.5 (+ 0.5)
Jason: 6.5 (+1)
Syesha: 6 (- 0.5)
Chikezie: 5 (-1)
Carly: 4 (-1)
Ramiele: 3 (no change)
Top 10 night liveblog
We don't have cable, so we are relying on members of the YouTube community to help us out, and generally speaking, they have done so just fine. If you are interested in seeing the videos, you can check out the profiles of idolfreak08, idolfanatic4, and 23getready23.
So without further ado, here is what you have been up all night waiting for: Braden's opinions on a bunch of random kids singing songs that are as old as they are.
1 Ramiele Malubay: She was born in Saudi Arabia and she looked "Bomb" when she was born. She bites. She started "singing singing" when she was 12. You mean she isn't still 12? My bad. Ryan says that this is a "crucial time". Isn't every week? She
is singing "Alone" by Heart. Here we go: Ouch. Not starting off so good, and what is that school-girl outfit with built-in girdle that she is wearing? She is off-key as she hits the big notes, and in fact she is being out-sung by the back-up singers. Kerry: "You gotta knock that out of the park after Carrie Underwood did it, and she didn't". Randy: Too big a song, a little pitchy. He gets Ramielle's but-look-how-cute-I-am pout as a reward. Paula: Blah blah blah I'm trying to nicely say that you sucked it up blah blah blah. Simon: Not as bad as Randy said, but calls it shrieky and shouting. Then he ends with a very strange non-compliment. Simon is wrong and Randy is right and Paula is dumb. Kerry agrees with Simon about the shrieking. Ramiele
says that her voice went bye-bye. After that performance, so will she. Braden's rating: 3/10 Kerry: 4/10
2 Jason Castro: Apparently today is his birthday. Apparently he is celebrating by getting really high and then being interviewed. He is singing "Fragile" by Sting. Here we go: He starts out by burping into the mic... or if those were words, I didn't understand them. I can't listen to him sing without being endlessly distracted by his breathing heavily into the mic. Every H that he sings comes out as a mini-boom. I have nothing remarkable to say about this performance. Typical Jason: good voice ruined by a boring selection and his breathing into the mic and his constipated facial expressions. Kerry: "He's pretty gutsy to keep throwing in foreign languages" Randy: It was aaaight. It was nice. Paula: blah blah blah a little safe blah blah blah. Simon: he starts
out with "okay" everytime that happens it is going to be bad... sure enough, he says it sounds like someone outside the subway station and then says Jason isn't taking it seriously. Then he ends with "sorry"... doubly bad. Ryan asks Jason if he takes the show seriously... what is he supposed to respond? "um, no Ryan, actually I hate being here and hope to get voted off, but thanks for asking. By the way, do you want to smoke a joint with me afterwards?" Ryan's brilliant follow-up: "But
you are in it to win it, right?" This razor-sharp in-depth reporting brought to you by Seacrest enterprises. Braden's rating: 5.5/10 Kerry: 7.5/10.
3 Syesha Mercado: Glad to know Syesha wasn't born on a hot winter's day. Thanks for clarifying, Syesha. This interview makes her sound of low intelligence. She says "I'm still a kid" and she sounds like it. She is singing "If I Was Your Woman" by
Stephanie Mills. Here we go: She starts off with some odd animal mating call sound. Now we are halfway in and I'm still bored. She needs to get better quickly. And now she can't keep in sync with the backup singers for the 5 notes that they sing with her. Now it's over and I'm still not blown away. Kerry: "I think she sang it pretty well, but I don't really like the song, so maybe that's skewing my view of the overall performance." Randy: This is the best I've ever heard you sing... steller, unbelievable, etc... he doesn't know how to end a compliment. Paula: blah blah blah flipped it blah blah blah big compliment from Paula. Simon: doesn't think it was as good as Randy. Paula was smiling from the first note. Perhaps if we can figure out which animal mating call the first note was, then we will learn more about Paula. Braden's rating: 4/10 Kerry: 6.5/10
4 Chikezie Eze: He's a 9/11 baby. Do you notice that sometimes when he talks he keeps his eyes closed? He is singing "If Only For One Night" by Luther Vandross. Here we go: Another first line off-key moment. Now he is playing the mac daddy with his front row fans. All-in-all he puts out a fair performance of a boring song. Kerry: "It was all right. He didn't suck as bad as I thought he would." Randy: I don't like making comparisons, but... she rocked, you didn't. Paula: blah blah blah great job blah
blah blah textures blah blah blah. Simon: You sang it well, but your performance was cheesy. I agree. Simon: Show originality. I agree. So does Randy. Braden's rating: 6/10 Kerry: 6/10
5 Brooke White: So Brooke is a piano prodigy. Figures. People that can play by ear make me mad. I'm jealous. She is singing "Every Breath You Take" by the Police. An odd choice, I think. Here we go: I like her hair straight. Ouch she had to restart after one note. She recovers well, though. I love Brooke. I want to move next door to her so that we can hang out. I'm watching the plants in the front rows of the crowd and they can't keep their silly hand-waving in sync. Did I mention that I love Brooke? I can't wait to buy her album. Maybe she and her husband can come over and we can all bake cookies together. Kerry: "it was pretty good, but I cringed for her at the beginning." Randy: (about her starting over) "A lot of good professionalism there." Brooke: "No, that's not good." That's my girl keeping it rizzle. Paula: blah blah blah better than last week you have your own niche blah blah blah. Simon: Definitely good enough for another week, but.......... Ryan says it was brave torestart. Brooke: "Generally you shouldn't do that." Keeping it rizzle. After we bake cookies, we can play a board game. It'll be fun. Kerry: Thanks so much for making me crave cookie dough. I think Braden should go make me some now. Braden's rating: 8.5/10 Kerry: 8/10
Paula doesn't seem too drunk today.
6 Michael Johns: Michael can't remember his birthday. Stuff. He is singing "We Are The Champions" by Queen. A tall order. Here we go: He comes out rockin! I'm loving it so far. Awkward transition from the We Will Rock You part of the song to the Champions part. A couple funny notes here and there, but I'm plum impressed so far. He isn't doing too much original with
the song, but I'm not sure what can be done with it. He is having a hard time with some of the high notes. Kerry: "I was entertained" Gladiator: "Are you not entertained?" Randy can't speak because of the cheering crowd. Randy: You used the big old voice you got. That was the best performance yet. I agree. Paula: blah blah blah shut my mouth blah blah blah shining city on a hill blah blah blah. Simon sees star potential for the first time. Simon: tonight you just got it right. I have to say that it seems like he can sing Queen, but I haven't liked anything else by him so far. Braden's rating: 8/10 Kerry: 8/10
7 Carly Smithson: Aaaah! Naked baby picture. Aaaaah! Scary little girl picture. She is singing "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. This is a song that I think Kristy Lee should sing. Here we go: I hope she will be wearing sleeves. NO!!! she isn't. At first I liked how she started and then I realized it was one of the backup singers. Man she is ugly with that crappy makeup and hairstyle. Oh here comes the big part of the song, get ready for screaming in 3, 2, 1, and yes here it is. And she
ends on a terrible note. Kerry: "I'm not impressed with that ending. I don't like it when she gets shrieky shouty." Randy: I didn't love it. The note at the end went sharp. it was just okay. Paula: blah blah blah I love what you did at the end (Randy makes the reasonable point that what she did at the end wasn't in tune) blah blah blah. Simon: Parts of the song you sang well, but something didn't quite work. You should lighten up. Carly's excuse: I went to the bathroom before. Ryan continues his reporting brilliance with this question: "did you flush?" I'm just disappointed that he didn't wait for a response. With Carly's PR skills she probably would have answered. Braden's rating: 5/10 and only that high because she did okay in the non-shrieky parts. Kerry: 6.5/10.
8 David Archuleta: He might miss prom by being on American Idol. Lots of girl volunteers. Oh he has a girlfriend. She looks like a nice Mormon girl. I've never seen his Dad without a baseball cap on. Now we are seeing a very cute video of young David dancing. As we are watching Jenna is over in her corner dancing around. How cute. David is singing "You're The Voice" by David Foster. Here we go: Bad start. Too low for him. Oh no it's another commie song. He's doing much much better on the singing. It got a little sloppy at the end. Great middle, though. Kerry: I think he was trying to show he can work the crowd. Randy: strange song choice (I agree) but very nice. Paula: blah blah blah I'm just kidding blah blah blah. Simon: didn't like it at all. Sounds like a theme-park performance with animated creatures and everyone joins in together. "I would be amazed if you chose the song yourself" This brings up a rumor that Kerry heard that David's Dad is picking the songs for him. Braden's message to David's Dad: STOP PICKING COMMIE LIBERAL FEEL-GOOD SONGS. Braden's rating: 7/10, mostly for the middle of the song. Kerry: 8/10.
9 Kristy Lee Cook: A Seattle baby! She looked exactly the same at 4 as she does now. She is singing "God Bless The USA" by Lee Greenwood. Here we go: She starts off well enough. Nothing special, though. She just said God Bless the USAaaaaayieaaiaaaaaieeeaa. Nothing liking singing the number 1 patriotic song around to try to rouse up votes, and she needs them. I think she came into tonight as the one on the chopping block. Kerry: "I just can't really get excited about her but it was better than the past couple weeks." Randy: very nice performance. Paula: blah blah blah um blah blah blah. did she just say "pitch problems"? Simon: You're best performance by a mile. Clever song choice, and it will keep you in the competition. Kerry disagrees. I disagree with Kerry. I think Ramiele is going to go tomorrow. Braden's rating: 6/10. Kerry: 7/10.
Wow, this live-blogging thing is a lot of typing.
10 David Cook: My first thought at seeing David's baby photo: "What is that huge noggin!" David: "I had a huge skull". Me: yeah. He is singing "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. What? Did I read that right? Michael Jackson? Okay... Here we go: I can't understand what he is mumbling. Well he is certainly coming at this song from a non-MJ direction. So far it actually isn't that bad. In fact, I kind of like it when he isn't mumbling. Kerry: "It was better than I thought it was going to be but the ending was crap, so it lowered my rating. And by the way, FREAKING CUT YOUR HAIR! I mean, what is that mop?" Randy: You might be the one to win the whole lot. Then he doesn't know how to finish his compliment. Paula: blah blah blah will you have my baby? blah blah blah. Simon: amazing. Braden's rating: 7/10. Kerry: 6.5/10.
So now to put those in order (average Braden and Kerry score):
Brooke: 8.25
Michael: 8
David A: 7.5
David C: 6.75
Kristy Lee: 6.5
Jason: 6.5
Chikezie: 6
Carly: 5.75
Syesha: 5.25
Ramiele: 3.5
Finally, predictions for the bottom 3:
Braden: Ramiele, Kristy, Carly. Ramiele goes home.
Kerry: Ramiele, Kristy, Syesha. Kristy goes home.
So without further ado, here is what you have been up all night waiting for: Braden's opinions on a bunch of random kids singing songs that are as old as they are.
1 Ramiele Malubay: She was born in Saudi Arabia and she looked "Bomb" when she was born. She bites. She started "singing singing" when she was 12. You mean she isn't still 12? My bad. Ryan says that this is a "crucial time". Isn't every week? She
is singing "Alone" by Heart. Here we go: Ouch. Not starting off so good, and what is that school-girl outfit with built-in girdle that she is wearing? She is off-key as she hits the big notes, and in fact she is being out-sung by the back-up singers. Kerry: "You gotta knock that out of the park after Carrie Underwood did it, and she didn't". Randy: Too big a song, a little pitchy. He gets Ramielle's but-look-how-cute-I-am pout as a reward. Paula: Blah blah blah I'm trying to nicely say that you sucked it up blah blah blah. Simon: Not as bad as Randy said, but calls it shrieky and shouting. Then he ends with a very strange non-compliment. Simon is wrong and Randy is right and Paula is dumb. Kerry agrees with Simon about the shrieking. Ramiele
says that her voice went bye-bye. After that performance, so will she. Braden's rating: 3/10 Kerry: 4/10
2 Jason Castro: Apparently today is his birthday. Apparently he is celebrating by getting really high and then being interviewed. He is singing "Fragile" by Sting. Here we go: He starts out by burping into the mic... or if those were words, I didn't understand them. I can't listen to him sing without being endlessly distracted by his breathing heavily into the mic. Every H that he sings comes out as a mini-boom. I have nothing remarkable to say about this performance. Typical Jason: good voice ruined by a boring selection and his breathing into the mic and his constipated facial expressions. Kerry: "He's pretty gutsy to keep throwing in foreign languages" Randy: It was aaaight. It was nice. Paula: blah blah blah a little safe blah blah blah. Simon: he starts
out with "okay" everytime that happens it is going to be bad... sure enough, he says it sounds like someone outside the subway station and then says Jason isn't taking it seriously. Then he ends with "sorry"... doubly bad. Ryan asks Jason if he takes the show seriously... what is he supposed to respond? "um, no Ryan, actually I hate being here and hope to get voted off, but thanks for asking. By the way, do you want to smoke a joint with me afterwards?" Ryan's brilliant follow-up: "But
you are in it to win it, right?" This razor-sharp in-depth reporting brought to you by Seacrest enterprises. Braden's rating: 5.5/10 Kerry: 7.5/10.
3 Syesha Mercado: Glad to know Syesha wasn't born on a hot winter's day. Thanks for clarifying, Syesha. This interview makes her sound of low intelligence. She says "I'm still a kid" and she sounds like it. She is singing "If I Was Your Woman" by
Stephanie Mills. Here we go: She starts off with some odd animal mating call sound. Now we are halfway in and I'm still bored. She needs to get better quickly. And now she can't keep in sync with the backup singers for the 5 notes that they sing with her. Now it's over and I'm still not blown away. Kerry: "I think she sang it pretty well, but I don't really like the song, so maybe that's skewing my view of the overall performance." Randy: This is the best I've ever heard you sing... steller, unbelievable, etc... he doesn't know how to end a compliment. Paula: blah blah blah flipped it blah blah blah big compliment from Paula. Simon: doesn't think it was as good as Randy. Paula was smiling from the first note. Perhaps if we can figure out which animal mating call the first note was, then we will learn more about Paula. Braden's rating: 4/10 Kerry: 6.5/10
4 Chikezie Eze: He's a 9/11 baby. Do you notice that sometimes when he talks he keeps his eyes closed? He is singing "If Only For One Night" by Luther Vandross. Here we go: Another first line off-key moment. Now he is playing the mac daddy with his front row fans. All-in-all he puts out a fair performance of a boring song. Kerry: "It was all right. He didn't suck as bad as I thought he would." Randy: I don't like making comparisons, but... she rocked, you didn't. Paula: blah blah blah great job blah
blah blah textures blah blah blah. Simon: You sang it well, but your performance was cheesy. I agree. Simon: Show originality. I agree. So does Randy. Braden's rating: 6/10 Kerry: 6/10
5 Brooke White: So Brooke is a piano prodigy. Figures. People that can play by ear make me mad. I'm jealous. She is singing "Every Breath You Take" by the Police. An odd choice, I think. Here we go: I like her hair straight. Ouch she had to restart after one note. She recovers well, though. I love Brooke. I want to move next door to her so that we can hang out. I'm watching the plants in the front rows of the crowd and they can't keep their silly hand-waving in sync. Did I mention that I love Brooke? I can't wait to buy her album. Maybe she and her husband can come over and we can all bake cookies together. Kerry: "it was pretty good, but I cringed for her at the beginning." Randy: (about her starting over) "A lot of good professionalism there." Brooke: "No, that's not good." That's my girl keeping it rizzle. Paula: blah blah blah better than last week you have your own niche blah blah blah. Simon: Definitely good enough for another week, but.......... Ryan says it was brave torestart. Brooke: "Generally you shouldn't do that." Keeping it rizzle. After we bake cookies, we can play a board game. It'll be fun. Kerry: Thanks so much for making me crave cookie dough. I think Braden should go make me some now. Braden's rating: 8.5/10 Kerry: 8/10
Paula doesn't seem too drunk today.
6 Michael Johns: Michael can't remember his birthday. Stuff. He is singing "We Are The Champions" by Queen. A tall order. Here we go: He comes out rockin! I'm loving it so far. Awkward transition from the We Will Rock You part of the song to the Champions part. A couple funny notes here and there, but I'm plum impressed so far. He isn't doing too much original with
the song, but I'm not sure what can be done with it. He is having a hard time with some of the high notes. Kerry: "I was entertained" Gladiator: "Are you not entertained?" Randy can't speak because of the cheering crowd. Randy: You used the big old voice you got. That was the best performance yet. I agree. Paula: blah blah blah shut my mouth blah blah blah shining city on a hill blah blah blah. Simon sees star potential for the first time. Simon: tonight you just got it right. I have to say that it seems like he can sing Queen, but I haven't liked anything else by him so far. Braden's rating: 8/10 Kerry: 8/10
7 Carly Smithson: Aaaah! Naked baby picture. Aaaaah! Scary little girl picture. She is singing "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. This is a song that I think Kristy Lee should sing. Here we go: I hope she will be wearing sleeves. NO!!! she isn't. At first I liked how she started and then I realized it was one of the backup singers. Man she is ugly with that crappy makeup and hairstyle. Oh here comes the big part of the song, get ready for screaming in 3, 2, 1, and yes here it is. And she
ends on a terrible note. Kerry: "I'm not impressed with that ending. I don't like it when she gets shrieky shouty." Randy: I didn't love it. The note at the end went sharp. it was just okay. Paula: blah blah blah I love what you did at the end (Randy makes the reasonable point that what she did at the end wasn't in tune) blah blah blah. Simon: Parts of the song you sang well, but something didn't quite work. You should lighten up. Carly's excuse: I went to the bathroom before. Ryan continues his reporting brilliance with this question: "did you flush?" I'm just disappointed that he didn't wait for a response. With Carly's PR skills she probably would have answered. Braden's rating: 5/10 and only that high because she did okay in the non-shrieky parts. Kerry: 6.5/10.
8 David Archuleta: He might miss prom by being on American Idol. Lots of girl volunteers. Oh he has a girlfriend. She looks like a nice Mormon girl. I've never seen his Dad without a baseball cap on. Now we are seeing a very cute video of young David dancing. As we are watching Jenna is over in her corner dancing around. How cute. David is singing "You're The Voice" by David Foster. Here we go: Bad start. Too low for him. Oh no it's another commie song. He's doing much much better on the singing. It got a little sloppy at the end. Great middle, though. Kerry: I think he was trying to show he can work the crowd. Randy: strange song choice (I agree) but very nice. Paula: blah blah blah I'm just kidding blah blah blah. Simon: didn't like it at all. Sounds like a theme-park performance with animated creatures and everyone joins in together. "I would be amazed if you chose the song yourself" This brings up a rumor that Kerry heard that David's Dad is picking the songs for him. Braden's message to David's Dad: STOP PICKING COMMIE LIBERAL FEEL-GOOD SONGS. Braden's rating: 7/10, mostly for the middle of the song. Kerry: 8/10.
9 Kristy Lee Cook: A Seattle baby! She looked exactly the same at 4 as she does now. She is singing "God Bless The USA" by Lee Greenwood. Here we go: She starts off well enough. Nothing special, though. She just said God Bless the USAaaaaayieaaiaaaaaieeeaa. Nothing liking singing the number 1 patriotic song around to try to rouse up votes, and she needs them. I think she came into tonight as the one on the chopping block. Kerry: "I just can't really get excited about her but it was better than the past couple weeks." Randy: very nice performance. Paula: blah blah blah um blah blah blah. did she just say "pitch problems"? Simon: You're best performance by a mile. Clever song choice, and it will keep you in the competition. Kerry disagrees. I disagree with Kerry. I think Ramiele is going to go tomorrow. Braden's rating: 6/10. Kerry: 7/10.
Wow, this live-blogging thing is a lot of typing.
10 David Cook: My first thought at seeing David's baby photo: "What is that huge noggin!" David: "I had a huge skull". Me: yeah. He is singing "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. What? Did I read that right? Michael Jackson? Okay... Here we go: I can't understand what he is mumbling. Well he is certainly coming at this song from a non-MJ direction. So far it actually isn't that bad. In fact, I kind of like it when he isn't mumbling. Kerry: "It was better than I thought it was going to be but the ending was crap, so it lowered my rating. And by the way, FREAKING CUT YOUR HAIR! I mean, what is that mop?" Randy: You might be the one to win the whole lot. Then he doesn't know how to finish his compliment. Paula: blah blah blah will you have my baby? blah blah blah. Simon: amazing. Braden's rating: 7/10. Kerry: 6.5/10.
So now to put those in order (average Braden and Kerry score):
Brooke: 8.25
Michael: 8
David A: 7.5
David C: 6.75
Kristy Lee: 6.5
Jason: 6.5
Chikezie: 6
Carly: 5.75
Syesha: 5.25
Ramiele: 3.5
Finally, predictions for the bottom 3:
Braden: Ramiele, Kristy, Carly. Ramiele goes home.
Kerry: Ramiele, Kristy, Syesha. Kristy goes home.
Welcome to my blog
Welcome to all two of you that will actually show up to visit my American Idol blog! I am going to start by reposting my top 10 liveblog that I did yesterday and then go from there. Have fun!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
