Have I mentioned lately that I'm glad Carly is gone? Just wondering.
First on this lovely evening is everyone's friend and resident mumbler David Cook. He is singing "Hungry Like the Wolf", originally by Duran Duran. He starts out sounding excited but looking very bored. It isn't terrible, but it isn't good either. Typical David Cook. Actually he sounds angry. Kerry: "His hair was better. I don't have anything else to say. Judges: Randy makes a great point that he could have picked anything and this song was a weak choice for him. Paula is making sexual innuendos - I think without knowing it - Simon thought it was good but doesn't seem too excited about it. Braden rating 5/10 Kerry rating 6.5/10
Second is Syesha Mercado, who will roll and roll and roll with "Proud Mary" by Tina Turner. She is standing on the stage looking sexy - perhaps trying too hard to look sexy - but her vocals start out kind of weak. She continues to danc very sexy-like and have weak vocals. Now we get to the bridge and she picks it up a few notches and it is reasonable, but, as Simon may say (and probably will) it is still kind of forgettable. Not good enough to keep her in unless Jason sucks it up. Kerry: "Good performance, but she got a little screechy at the end there." Judges: Randy is glad that Syesha showed up. Paula says blah blah blah and then keeps blahing. Simon thought it was a bad, shrieky version of Tina Turner. Braden agrees. Syesha retorts that she is just trying to have fun. Simon says, "well, I didn't." Braden rating 6/10 Kerry rating 7.5/10
Third is Jason Castro, who has agreed to put aside his drugs long enough to sing "I Shot the Sheriff" by Bob Marley. I just threw up in my mouth. Okay Syesha, you are safe this week. Kerry: "I liked it in a way, just because he did something different than just sit in his chair and sing a boring song. But it was kind of weird and it ended abruptly. But it looked like he was enjoying himself for the first time in weeks." Judges: Randy is speechless. Finally he finds his words enough to say that there was nothing special and that song was only good enough for him to have fun. Paula finds the only possible compliment: "you performed more to the audience" Simon keeps it real. Among other things, he calls it "Utterly atrocious" and calls the performing and the singing as bad as he has ever heard. He says it reminds him of a first round performance. Finally, he says "I don't know what you were thinking." Jason's response, in a stoner-cartoony voice: "I was thinking Bob Marley!". Finally at the end, Ryan asks Simon and Randy why they are being so harsh and they continue the critique. Paula, in a fit of irony, calls a stop to it, informing them that he has another song. She fails to mention that she has already judged it and will continue her drinking binge while he sings. Braden rating 2.5/10 Kerry rating 6/10
Ugh! I need to go take a shower after listening to that.
Reclaiming his fourth place starting position again is David Archuleta who is going trite with one of the most covered songs ever: "Stand By Me". In his defense, I can really see him knocking this one out. I just hope he does something original with it. He looks good in all black. Starting out, he is just a little too melodic for me. And thus it continues. Too many voice runs. All-in-all it was a solid performance; just not my favorite. I may like it more next time I listen to it. Kerry: "He really looked like he was having fun, stepping out of his comfort zone and getting a little more animated." Judges: Randy is excited. Paula is making excuses for his age. She continues by saying blah blah blah. Simon says he could have whistled the song and it would have sounded better than Jason. He says that David struggled a little at the end, but calls it the best performance so far. Braden rating 6.5/10 Kerry rating 8.5/10
First round over. Impressions: I'm not in a bad mood, but I've been rating like I am. Maybe, just maybe, the performances are just not up to what you would expect from the top 4. Kerry thinks that David's was the best, but she is "kinda disappointed by the other peeps."
Fifth is David Cook, trying his hand at "Baba O'Riley" perhaps more commonly known as "teenage crap" by the Who. He starts. OPEN YOUR FREAKING MOUTH WHEN YOU SING AND MAYBE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GET THE WORDS OUT AS WORDS INSTEAD OF MUMBLING OF CRAPPY CRAPPINESS. Okay, I'm calm. Now he gets into the main thrust of the song and tries to go falsetto and instead gets kind of whiny. Then the song suddenly ends. Kerry: "I was kind of liking the first half, but I don't like it when he gets screechy. Of course he has a strike against him because I don't like the song. Just repeat Teenage Wasteland 50 times? How is that a song?" Judges: Randy and Paula: blah blah blah. Simon: "Welcome back David Cook" Braden rating 4.5/10 Kerry rating 5.5/10
Sixth is Syesha who is boldly piloting the message song machine tonight with her rendition of "Change is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke. Wow. She looks gorgeous... but look at that cleavage! Where did that all come from? As for the voice, this is Syesha from several weeks ago when she refused to let her big voice out except for a few notes. I enjoy those few notes, but most of this song was just completely lost. In fact, had I not heard this song before, I would have no clue what it was about. Kerry: "Hi boobs. She sang it well, but it was kind of boring and forgettable." Judges: Randy ticks off the list of what he didn't like about it. Paula feels bad about what Randy says and so she goes into defensive mode. Syesha starts crying. Simon can't bring himself to critique her while she is crying so he sells out. I really really really hope that these tears are genuine. I want to believe that they are and that she is not just vying for votes. She seems like a pretty sincere person. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Besides, after Jason's first performance, she could have puked in the middle of singing and I think she would be safe. Braden rating 6/10 Kerry rating 6.5/10
Seventh is Jason who, luckily, can only improve on Bob Dylan's utter crappiness as he sings "Mr. Tambourine Man". Let's see if he can redeem himself. He's off... and he's off. And... he is way off. He just forgot his lyrics. Like totally, completely forgot them. Like humming the tune kind of forgot them. Goodbye, Jason. Thanks a lot for taking all of the drama out of tomorrow night. Kerry: "You can't forget the words at this point. He is gone." Judges: Randy is so speechless that he can only ask Jason what he thinks of his performance. Finally he musters, "Jason is not in the zone tonight." Some girl in the audience shouts "Yes he is". Oh thanks random girl. You convinced me. Now I see the error of my ways. I am redeemed. I'll nudge his score up half a point now. Paula has nothing good to say, either. Her comment: "it is what it is." Brilliant. Simon tells him to pack his suitcase. Braden rating: 3/10 Kerry rating: 4.5/10
Finally, Mr. A will serenade us with perhaps the second most covered song ever: "Love Me Tender" by Elvis Presley (though rumor has it he will do the Nora Jones version... whatever that means). At this point, he can only improve on the terrible performances of the night. Starts off well enough - though it is a pretty easy start. Strong performance. He keeps it simple and doesn't overdo the vocal runs so much. Very nice. Kerry: "His voice kind of cracked at the end, but I loved it. It made me smile." Judges: Randy likes how tender it was. "Hot vocals of the night" Paula felt him (while squishing him to put him in her rearview mirror). Simon says he not only beat the competition, but he crushed the competition. Ryan calls him Crusher. Braden rating 8.5/10 Kerry rating 9/10
So shall we put all of those ratings together? (average Braden and Kerry rating)
First song:
David Archuleta 7.5
Syesha Mercado 6.75
David Cook 5.75
Jason Castro 4.25
Second song:
David Archuleta 8.75
Syesha Mercado 6.25
David Cook 5
Jason Castro 3.75
Combined:
David Archuleta 8.1
Syesha Mercado 6.5
David Cook 5.4
Jason Castro 4
And now...
THE PREDICTIONS
They will play up the drama. But there really is none.
Braden thinks the bottom two will be Syesha and Jason with Jason going home
Kerry thinks the bottom two will be Syesha and Jason with Jason going home
First on this lovely evening is everyone's friend and resident mumbler David Cook. He is singing "Hungry Like the Wolf", originally by Duran Duran. He starts out sounding excited but looking very bored. It isn't terrible, but it isn't good either. Typical David Cook. Actually he sounds angry. Kerry: "His hair was better. I don't have anything else to say. Judges: Randy makes a great point that he could have picked anything and this song was a weak choice for him. Paula is making sexual innuendos - I think without knowing it - Simon thought it was good but doesn't seem too excited about it. Braden rating 5/10 Kerry rating 6.5/10
Second is Syesha Mercado, who will roll and roll and roll with "Proud Mary" by Tina Turner. She is standing on the stage looking sexy - perhaps trying too hard to look sexy - but her vocals start out kind of weak. She continues to danc very sexy-like and have weak vocals. Now we get to the bridge and she picks it up a few notches and it is reasonable, but, as Simon may say (and probably will) it is still kind of forgettable. Not good enough to keep her in unless Jason sucks it up. Kerry: "Good performance, but she got a little screechy at the end there." Judges: Randy is glad that Syesha showed up. Paula says blah blah blah and then keeps blahing. Simon thought it was a bad, shrieky version of Tina Turner. Braden agrees. Syesha retorts that she is just trying to have fun. Simon says, "well, I didn't." Braden rating 6/10 Kerry rating 7.5/10
Third is Jason Castro, who has agreed to put aside his drugs long enough to sing "I Shot the Sheriff" by Bob Marley. I just threw up in my mouth. Okay Syesha, you are safe this week. Kerry: "I liked it in a way, just because he did something different than just sit in his chair and sing a boring song. But it was kind of weird and it ended abruptly. But it looked like he was enjoying himself for the first time in weeks." Judges: Randy is speechless. Finally he finds his words enough to say that there was nothing special and that song was only good enough for him to have fun. Paula finds the only possible compliment: "you performed more to the audience" Simon keeps it real. Among other things, he calls it "Utterly atrocious" and calls the performing and the singing as bad as he has ever heard. He says it reminds him of a first round performance. Finally, he says "I don't know what you were thinking." Jason's response, in a stoner-cartoony voice: "I was thinking Bob Marley!". Finally at the end, Ryan asks Simon and Randy why they are being so harsh and they continue the critique. Paula, in a fit of irony, calls a stop to it, informing them that he has another song. She fails to mention that she has already judged it and will continue her drinking binge while he sings. Braden rating 2.5/10 Kerry rating 6/10
Ugh! I need to go take a shower after listening to that.
Reclaiming his fourth place starting position again is David Archuleta who is going trite with one of the most covered songs ever: "Stand By Me". In his defense, I can really see him knocking this one out. I just hope he does something original with it. He looks good in all black. Starting out, he is just a little too melodic for me. And thus it continues. Too many voice runs. All-in-all it was a solid performance; just not my favorite. I may like it more next time I listen to it. Kerry: "He really looked like he was having fun, stepping out of his comfort zone and getting a little more animated." Judges: Randy is excited. Paula is making excuses for his age. She continues by saying blah blah blah. Simon says he could have whistled the song and it would have sounded better than Jason. He says that David struggled a little at the end, but calls it the best performance so far. Braden rating 6.5/10 Kerry rating 8.5/10
First round over. Impressions: I'm not in a bad mood, but I've been rating like I am. Maybe, just maybe, the performances are just not up to what you would expect from the top 4. Kerry thinks that David's was the best, but she is "kinda disappointed by the other peeps."
Fifth is David Cook, trying his hand at "Baba O'Riley" perhaps more commonly known as "teenage crap" by the Who. He starts. OPEN YOUR FREAKING MOUTH WHEN YOU SING AND MAYBE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GET THE WORDS OUT AS WORDS INSTEAD OF MUMBLING OF CRAPPY CRAPPINESS. Okay, I'm calm. Now he gets into the main thrust of the song and tries to go falsetto and instead gets kind of whiny. Then the song suddenly ends. Kerry: "I was kind of liking the first half, but I don't like it when he gets screechy. Of course he has a strike against him because I don't like the song. Just repeat Teenage Wasteland 50 times? How is that a song?" Judges: Randy and Paula: blah blah blah. Simon: "Welcome back David Cook" Braden rating 4.5/10 Kerry rating 5.5/10
Sixth is Syesha who is boldly piloting the message song machine tonight with her rendition of "Change is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke. Wow. She looks gorgeous... but look at that cleavage! Where did that all come from? As for the voice, this is Syesha from several weeks ago when she refused to let her big voice out except for a few notes. I enjoy those few notes, but most of this song was just completely lost. In fact, had I not heard this song before, I would have no clue what it was about. Kerry: "Hi boobs. She sang it well, but it was kind of boring and forgettable." Judges: Randy ticks off the list of what he didn't like about it. Paula feels bad about what Randy says and so she goes into defensive mode. Syesha starts crying. Simon can't bring himself to critique her while she is crying so he sells out. I really really really hope that these tears are genuine. I want to believe that they are and that she is not just vying for votes. She seems like a pretty sincere person. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Besides, after Jason's first performance, she could have puked in the middle of singing and I think she would be safe. Braden rating 6/10 Kerry rating 6.5/10
Seventh is Jason who, luckily, can only improve on Bob Dylan's utter crappiness as he sings "Mr. Tambourine Man". Let's see if he can redeem himself. He's off... and he's off. And... he is way off. He just forgot his lyrics. Like totally, completely forgot them. Like humming the tune kind of forgot them. Goodbye, Jason. Thanks a lot for taking all of the drama out of tomorrow night. Kerry: "You can't forget the words at this point. He is gone." Judges: Randy is so speechless that he can only ask Jason what he thinks of his performance. Finally he musters, "Jason is not in the zone tonight." Some girl in the audience shouts "Yes he is". Oh thanks random girl. You convinced me. Now I see the error of my ways. I am redeemed. I'll nudge his score up half a point now. Paula has nothing good to say, either. Her comment: "it is what it is." Brilliant. Simon tells him to pack his suitcase. Braden rating: 3/10 Kerry rating: 4.5/10
Finally, Mr. A will serenade us with perhaps the second most covered song ever: "Love Me Tender" by Elvis Presley (though rumor has it he will do the Nora Jones version... whatever that means). At this point, he can only improve on the terrible performances of the night. Starts off well enough - though it is a pretty easy start. Strong performance. He keeps it simple and doesn't overdo the vocal runs so much. Very nice. Kerry: "His voice kind of cracked at the end, but I loved it. It made me smile." Judges: Randy likes how tender it was. "Hot vocals of the night" Paula felt him (while squishing him to put him in her rearview mirror). Simon says he not only beat the competition, but he crushed the competition. Ryan calls him Crusher. Braden rating 8.5/10 Kerry rating 9/10
So shall we put all of those ratings together? (average Braden and Kerry rating)
First song:
David Archuleta 7.5
Syesha Mercado 6.75
David Cook 5.75
Jason Castro 4.25
Second song:
David Archuleta 8.75
Syesha Mercado 6.25
David Cook 5
Jason Castro 3.75
Combined:
David Archuleta 8.1
Syesha Mercado 6.5
David Cook 5.4
Jason Castro 4
And now...
THE PREDICTIONS
They will play up the drama. But there really is none.
Braden thinks the bottom two will be Syesha and Jason with Jason going home
Kerry thinks the bottom two will be Syesha and Jason with Jason going home
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